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Harry the Moth/Transcript
James: For some reason everybody thinks butterflies are better than moths. We make children's books about butterflies, we use them as metaphors of change. You might be an ugly caterpillar now, but soon you'll grow into a beautiful butterfly. We go into fields and frolic around trying to catch them and some people even have a collection of them. Granted the people who do collect them do so by impaling the butterflies. But whatever, it's still a compliment. How many other insects can say that they get this much affection? Maybe praying mantises. Where I come from every time you see a praying mantis you have to point out like, "WHOA! GUYS! LOOK!! A PRAYING MANTIS!" And then you just....look at it. Anyway back to the point. Moths on the other hand are like the WHITE TRASH versions of butterflies. Even though moths and butterflies are practically the same creature, for some reason we give moths a bad rap. We laugh at them for flying into light bulbs, butterflies would do that too if they weren't asleep at night..... Moths are so attracted to bright light that they'll follow it even if it KILLS THEM. You might think that this sort of behavior makes them stupid, but I like to think that this just shows how dedicated they can be. We also get mad at moths for eating our clothes. But if butterflies liked the taste of our clothing, they wouldn't hesitate to chomp down on our laundry. Actually butterflies probably think that they're too good for your clothing. They only eat the fine things in life, like FLOWERS. You hear that? Butterflies think they're too good for your t-shirts! In Arizona we have your normal run-of-the-mill moths. You know the type, small, gray, they look like a paper airplane made by someone who didn't know how to make a paper airplane. But we also have a moth called the white-lined sphinx moth. And these moths are like the Godzilla of the moth world. Which actually, I'm pretty sure there is a giant moth in the Godzilla world, Mothra. This again just shows how much we don't like moths. We turn them into city destroying monsters. When will the hate end? I'm sure when they filmed the Mothra's scenes in the Godzilla movie, they didn't even use any special effects. They just used a normal white-lined sphinx moth. Those things could beat up hummingbirds if they wanted. One night when I was 5 years old, one of these big boys was hanging around at our porch light. Cause you know moths, they just love themselves some GLOWING BALLS OF HEAT. And then when someone opened the door the moth saw all the other light inside and just flew straight in. *'Moth:' More light?! This place is ABSOLUTELY GLIMMERING!!! *'James:' Its fate was sealed as soon as it crossed over the threshold. I don't know what the moth did once he was inside our house, but whatever it was it sure tired him out, because the next morning, my sister and I found him on the kitchen windowsill, just lying there, doing absolutely nothing. He was probably thinking about the outside world, and being with his moth brethren. But he'd pretty much given up trying to escape. Because me and my sister just scooped him up and put him into a jar. And he became our new pet. My sister decide to name him Harry. Now, some moths are actually quite hairy, but this moth wasn't hairy at all, so that name didn't make any sense. But we were five, so it didn't have to. HEY GUYS DON'T GET TOO ATTACHED TO HARRY........ We poked holes in the lid, we put leaves and sticks in his jar, which might have been a good idea if he was still a caterpillar, but I don't think moths eat leafs. Do they eat leafs?? We probably should have just put in a t-shirt. We thought we were taking good care of him! My mom apparently didn't like Harry. She said: *'Mom (Janette):' I have a good idea! Why don't you take Harry to your kindergarten class tomorrow? And I don't know, maybe he can be the class pet there. *'James:' This is back when I thought my mom had good ideas, so we decided to take Harry to school. Because think of how cool you would be as a five-year-old showing all your classmates the giant moth you captured. Looking back at the situation, having a class pet whose lifespan that won't make it to the end of the school year isn't a smart idea. The teacher probably didn't want to have to come to school one day and explain to a roomful of five year olds (He's asleep!) why the class pet was lying on its back and not moving. So the teacher suggested: *'Teacher:' What if we release Harry at recess? *'James:' Not a lot of kids' movies that have animals in them, the animals usually don't like being captured. The animals want to be free and live out in the wild. Think Finding Nemo, Spirit, Happy Feet, Free Willy. It was common knowledge to every five year old that all the creatures walking on this green Earth wanted to live in the wild. So we were more than happy to put Harry back in his home. When it came time for recess, We all walked outside and we were excited to be part of the newly instituted catch and release moth program. We were like those people who put beached whales back in the ocean, except in this metaphor, the whale was already in the ocean, minding its own business and then two dumb kindergartners put in a plastic baggie and then moved it miles away from its home. It was supposed to be a happy moment seeing Harry get rehabilitated into moth society. But what actually happened was a lot darker. We gathered around the teacher. She opened the jar, but Harry didn't fly out, so then she had to shake Harry out of the jar. We've already established that Harry isn't that smart. Eventually he finally understood that he was free. The whole sky was waiting above him. He flew upward, wings fluttering, ready to reclaim his moth life. Weeeeeeellllllllll, turns out there's a good reason giant moths only come out at night, (What a beautiful day night!!) and that's mostly because of camouflage and the fact that their predators are asleep. Harry had neither of those advantages at our playground in the middle of the day. Not ten seconds had gone by when a bird from a nearby tree, swooped down and grabbed Harry in its beak. Harry was a free moth for a good 10 seconds before his painful, INEVITABLE, DEATH. Immediately the entire kindergarten class began screaming, my sister RAN after the bird demanding that he release Harry. Unfortunately.....birds don't listen to those sorts of demands. Am I right, Jaiden!? *'Jaiden:' Ari, sit. (I'm already sitting) Ari, roll over. (Ari squeaks) Ari, stay. (Ari runs around) No!! (laughing) Speak... (Ari does a small squeak close enough to speaking) *'James:' So then the teacher had to give us the talk about how nature is a lot scarier than it is in the movies. Basically the circle of life involves a lot of death. But on the bright side, we totally made that bird's day. He was just sitting in a tree probably wishing Arizona had more worms, and then, BOOM!! FREE MEAL! *'Bird:' I wonder what I'm going to eat. (notices Harry) WACK. *'James:' For all we know that could have been the bird's first time eating a moth. I'm sure that bird told all of his bird friends, and they totally didn't believe him. *'Bird:' Dude, I just caught a moth, like one of the big ones. Yeah, I know they're nocturnal, but it was just flying around in the middle of the day. NO, I'M TELLING THE TRUTH!! THERE WERE LIKE 30 CHILDREN WHO SAW ME!!! ASK ANY ONE OF THEM! AND THEY'LL TELL YOU I CAUGHT THAT MOTH!!! *'James:' I don't remember what happened for the rest of the day during school. But I'm pretty sure we didn't get much done. When we got home me and my sister tearfully told my mom about how Harry had met his doom. My mom said they she was trying not to cry, but I think she was lying. But I don't think she was as emotionally attached to Harry as we were. Harry was only a part of our lives for a couple of hours, but years have passed and me and my sister still talk about Harry. Just randomly in conversation one of us will ask, "Hey, do you remember Harry?" *'Faith:' (depressed sigh) Yeah. *'James:' And now a random moth that died 15 years ago will be remembered forever, in our hearts. If only Harry was alive to see what he would have become. I want to share with you some pictures I've saved in Harry's scrapbook, here are Harry's baby pictures (actually a lot of caterpillar pictures on Google). Here's Harry's first apartment (actually a lot of empty jar pictures on Google). And here's the last thing Harry ever saw (actually a lot of bird pictures on Google). (attempting to sing "I Will Remember You" by Sarah Mclachlan) I will remember you.. Will you remember me? (R.I.P Harry 2001-2001) Doo doo doo doo. I don't know the rest of the song so I'm just gonna stop right now. End-card *'James:' Hey, what's go on fellow teens? I'm doing something a little different for this end card, I'm doing this face cam video because I want you to get used to my face and what I look like. Why am I doing that? Because I'm going to VIDCON, BABY. I'm a featured creator. So if you're going to Vidcon then be on the lookout for this (quick close-up to his face). Also, I changed my channel name recently, I used to be TheOdd1sOut Comic. Now I'm not. Since I changed my name the plaques that YouTube sent me are wrong now. So I fixed them. I still haven't hung them up yet. Anyway, that's all I wanted to say. Thanks for watching and wear your... (realizes that his chair has no seatbelt) There's no seatbelt. *'Jaiden:' What a rascal. Oh! (snickers) What are you doing?! (laughs) Speak. (ear-quake) Category:Transcripts